redyogimom

Yoga, motherhood, badass awesome sauce and love

Half empty/ half full

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There’s this old Buddhist story of a family, a husband and a wife and their only son, I don’t remember word for word but a series of events unfolds and the son goes off to war and comes back inured and the mother is devastated at both events, but learns gratitude that the son came back at all because the rest of the soldiers didn’t. It’s a lesson in being calm, despite outside influences, events and distractions! I learned this story years ago and though I’ve tried, lately things have just been too much to handle and I’ve been swimming in a constant sea of overwhelm.

Today I was on my way to a client and I heard a huge pop and a jerk at the wheel and the scrape of a rim. Luckily I wasn’t on 77, as I usually am, and wasn’t going fast, nor did I have kids in the car! I pulled over as quickly as I could and popped the trunk to start digging out the jack and the tire iron, but they weren’t there. I knew exactly where they were, the ex, never good about putting things back where they came from, had borrowed them and never put them back in their place. So here I am, blown out tire, no tools and late for a client. So per the story, and my usual reaction, I could have lost my shit, sobbed, stomped my feet, but it wouldn’t have fixed anything and it would have led me down a path of even more stress, I even did my absolute best to let go of the fact that I could have fixed it myself if my things had been returned.

So the silver lining, my tire blew out right in front of the Maserati dealership. I walked over, asked them to borrow a tire iron and a jack and these sweet souls helped, no questions asked. They asked for my keys and in 10 minutes I was out the door.  I was left in tears and full of gratitude, I could easily dwell on how much that experience sucked, that I’m alone and doing this on my own, that I could have fixed it myself had I not been wronged, how losing the deposit on my last house wasn’t my fault and that money was going to be used on new tires and brakes that I desperately need to keep my girls and I safe, but in that moment my thought was a happy one. Even a question, I wonder if these guys will help me? Their kindness answered and it’s so much more than changing a tire for a tired woman driving a tired, beat up mini van, it was hope that there are amazing people out there still, that there are so many blessing just floating around us if we can only take the time and space to be open to them. It was a reminder that I’m not alone, that I’m not empty, I’m full and very grateful!

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Author: redyogimom

I'm a mom, yogi, lover, artist, wanderer, reader, student, teacher, writer, traveler, searcher, lover of music, experience and light. I have no filter and refuse to grow one, I'm raw, honest, vulnerable and ecstatically happy.

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