I’ve always loved this quote and the source. When I look at her work I get the sense that she was fearless, truly a pioneer! I have a sink full of dirty dishes, a bed full of laundry to fold and put away, I’m exhausted and months behind on bills, sleep and anything resembling a fully functioning adult and mum. Yet, today I spent almost the whole day building a brooder and tomorrow I’m getting chicks and ducklings. What the fuck am I thinking? I had a melt down when I walked in the door, toting two babies, bags on each shoulder and my second oldest who wasn’t supposed to let Murray in yet, did. Screaming, peeing (Murray not me), babies crying and all of the things. I had a momentary thought of “I can’t do this”, “I need help”, “I am not enough”. Then I put my big girl panties on and gave the babies a bath, calmed them and myself down, got the littles to bed and cracked a beer so I could write.
I don’t ever want fear to stop me from doing what I’m passionate about, I know there is a lot stacked against me and I’m responsible for it all! I know that I will have days like today where I can’t handle it, and I know I’ll melt down. I also know that if I don’t do this I’ll never forgive myself, I won’t be doing my best or living up to my potential! I want to make a difference, I want to share this passion and potentially ignite that same passion in others! If everyone kept backyard chickens, a garden, and or bees we could not only make a dent in the monsanto/walmart/chemical laden fake food epidemic, we could actually stop it. You’d be blown away by the amount of food you can produce in a small space and even if you grow one or two veggies you could trade with a neighbor who grew different veggies. The connection that could be fostered between ourselves and our neighbors, our food, our own health could be re-grown in no time! So, it’s more than just chicks, ducklings, a pet goat and herbs. It’s coming back to a way of life that has become so eroded and almost obsolete! So even though I’m afraid of failure, embarrassment, and losing my shit, I honestly don’t have a choice, my heart would never allow it!