I went to the farmers market with the babies this morning and picked up the most beautiful flowers, duck eggs, salami, shitake mushrooms, and crab cakes. Almost as soon as I got home I got started on lunch, pure excitement and anticipation. I sauteed the mushrooms in butter and garlic, added a handful of spinach and let it wilt before I covered it with whisked duck eggs, it was near perfection until I went for the sea salt and dumped the whole damn thing in the pan because the lid to the cracker was unscrewed. Now, had it been another day, another month I would have lost my shit and let it ruin my day. The effort, time, money spent on lunch would have thrown me over the edge. Today, in that moment, I threw my head back and laughed. Simultaneously the crab cake I was cooking started to fall apart, despite my best efforts to keep it neat, tidy, and intact. I scratched the eggs, busted up the crab cake and cracked one single egg in the pan to make this! It was scrumptious!
Sometimes we have this elaborate plan, it’s tidy and neatly folded and the color stays in the lines but sometimes there’s an explosion of bitter salt and things fall apart and we’re left with two choices. One, absolutely lose our shit, stomp our feet and curse the skies for things not going according to our plan, or Two, we can throw our heads back, giggle, wipe the slate clean and start over. The amazing thing is the second, third, fourth or millionth time around things tend to be so much better. Easier, organic, effortless and incredibly delicious!
The groove I’ve found myself in the last few days is one of ease, I’m spring cleaning, my house and my life, cooking again, reading again, gardening again. I’m not doing it out of spite, I’m doing it out of love for myself. It feels right and kind and good.