I’m not even sure how to start or finish this and maybe that’s telling, but here it is. I am no stranger to abuse: neglect, abandonment, rape, loss, pain and trouble. I honestly don’t think anyone is. The problem is these words are too familiar, I’m sure they get their fair share of throwing around, but I’m even more sure they get their fair share of silence. I have never considered myself the silent, meek type by any stretch, and now that I’m raising four women you better be damned sure I’m outspoken about this, but when my former employer grabbed my ass and thrust himself into my back, all in the name of honoring “the culture” of yoga, I about lost my shit. I’ve practiced yoga for 20, TWENTY, years, and taught it for almost 10, that happened to me in my SACRED space, on my mat. To add insult to injury I was fired for standing up, calling him out on his shit and drawing a line.
The problem is, that when it happened, I WAS silent. I immediately texted my partner of 5 years, and no surprise he wasn’t riled enough to come to my aid, my co workers were helpful but nothing happened, NOTHING HAPPENED TO HIM. There wasn’t a black hole to eat him up, he wasn’t arrested, he wasn’t even charged. NOTHING HAPPENED. Meanwhile in the months that followed, I watch my entire life implode, my career, my self worth, my life’s work, my marriage, my relationship to everything I had built and known, up to that point, no longer existed. Forget the fact that I was already a mother of 4, my youngest was only 4 months old, and I was suffering cruelly from postpartum depression, perhaps I was an easy target. When he grabbed me, he awoke a beast, a goddess, akin to Kali, he crossed a line and that line, no matter how tired, depressed and exhausted I am, will be defended to the end. He’s no different though, Weinstein, Trump, insert any and every douche bag narcissist you’ve ever encountered in your life, they are all the same. They have different names, but are no different.
I have to tell you I’m tired of hearing “ME TOO”, the more appropriate thing to say is “who hasn’t” and that’s sad. We are giving up on our friends, we are giving up on our women, and we are giving up on raising our boys into real men, men that acknowledge vulnerability and honesty and realness as attributes.
So enough of the “me too” and enough of the ” who hasn’t”!!!
HOW THE FUCK DO WE FIX THIS?
I’m going to tell you how, by not being silent. By being brave, by saying no, by not sweeping it under the rug and by not allowing “locker room talk”! We raise our women strong, knowing how awesome and beautiful and worthy they are, and raising our men to also be kind and compassionate and vulnerable and by being honest ourselves! That’s how change happens. You stop allowing the things that start the landslide, it’s steep and fast and it takes your soul with it!