What is an already emotional, hormonal, slightly dramatic and very sensitive empath to do when they lose their shit after having a baby? The answer is, “I have no clue”. I’m genuinely a happy person, at least I feel that way on the inside. Sometimes what I feel and what I project are crazy different. On the outside, when it’s all just too much I’m sure I seem like a non stop ball of all kinds of emotions, a huge case of rbf doesn’t really help me either. So here’s the deal. I’m happy, but stressed, I’m in a beautiful loving relationship with a man I absolutely adore, I have three kids whom I love more than anything, the four leggeds are truly the best (even Cocoa the cat) I get the opportunity to do what I love to do, Yoga, reiki, massage and I get paid for it. WTF do I have to complain about?? NOTHING! I’m sure we’re all too hard on ourselves about something, but when you get down to it, who cares if the house is spotless, the kitchen sink empty, the laundry folded and put away? NO ONE! All of these things sound basic but they’re nothing but. In a world controlled by comparison, photo shop, fb, this “perfect” syndrome, it’s tough to step back and see the big picture, it’s tough to remember what we’re so blessed to have. So what I’m trying to say is that I’m happy, I feel good and I recognize the physical progress I’ve made after having a baby but goodness sometimes I get angry because my kids don’t listen and sometimes I feel fat and squishy (my pathetic attempt for a run today produced more tears than results though), and sometimes I just need a damn hug, but mostly I’m ok with feeling emotinal, letting go of what needs to get out. Chalk it up to hormones, (though I did placenta encapsulation and it made a world of difference) to being a woman, to keeping myself so busy that I can barely breathe let alone notice how emotional I am, and to sometimes just eating chocolate and crying. I’m trying to find gratitude in everything! Especially the little things like baby toes!